on the romance-intolerant Dartmouth campus
seems ludicrous. The fact that this person might
begin as a random hookup seems even more
impossible. But it happens. Ask Antje Herlyn
'00, whose eventual husband, Sebastian Barreveld '00, began
as nothing more to her than a fellow Topliff resident from their
freshman year who had a "big, stupid, poofy Miller Lite beer
chair." Though they'd hung out in his room with other kids
on their fl oor many times before, it wasn't until Green Key
weekend that they, as Antje described, "had our
fi rst foray...we drank a little too much and got down
on the dance fl oor and he ended
up in my dorm bed. Not very
romantic, but typical
college."
When Sebastian
left for the summer without
saying goodbye, Antje assessed the
situation: "I fi gured it was just sort of a
fl ing." However, fate would have it that
their families were vacationing that
summer in houses about fi ve miles
apart, giving them plenty of time to
develop their relationship -- though
not for long. When Antje went abroad
to Argentina during their sophomore
spring, the pair broke up and "enjoyed
single life," as Antje described. Sebastian
eventually became president of
Alpha Chi, while Antje was into the
Dartmouth Outing Club
and the
snowintroduce
her to
"the cute guy."
Th e two
were, in
true noncommittal
Dartmout
h
fashion,
" n o t
technically
'dating'
d u r i n g
freshman year
but kinda," as
Katie said, as
they later began
dating her
sophomore
f a l l . They
never broke
up.
Sur p r i s -
ingly, Katie
and Matt
weren't the
only team members
who needed a crowded house (and
some liquid courage) to bring them
together. Bonnie Regan '01 met fellow
runner Jimmy Gerhart '99 when she
was visiting Dartmouth as a recruit --
her host was Jimmy's then-girlfriend.
The next fall, Bonnie matriculated
while Jimmy was taking a year off, so
the two didn't cross paths again until
they both ended up on the second fl oor
of Chi Gam her freshman spring when
Jimmy was visiting for the weekend.
Like Katie and Matt, the two "kinda
dated a little bit" at fi rst, but didn't
really get together until the last night
of fi nals her sophomore fall.
The short breakup didn't faze
Bonnie, "Runners are pretty much
together all the time so we were
always going to dinner together with
a bunch of people, and we were able
to be such good friends even though
we'd hooked up before and not be
awkward. I always fi gured we'd get
back together." Though the two were
eventually married on November 4,
2007, Bonnie said she was glad they
didn't rush into it: "You grow so much
in the three or four years after school;
it's such a different life. We both
grew into two totally different people,
though we grew together. It would've
been dangerous to get married right
after school."
Victoria Potterton Zalkin '02 would
defi nitely agree with that mindset.
Victoria met Austin Zalkin '02 their
sophomore fall, when both were
UGAs in the Choates, her on the
third fl oor of Cohen and him on the
fi rst fl oor of Bissel. They met during a
UGA staff meeting two weeks before
fall term started, but it wasn't exactly
love at fi rst sight: "It was funny because,
as a UGA, [Austin] was really
into doing things for his fl oor but not
for the cluster, and that really made
me mad. So I actually found him kind
of annoying," Victoria said. But, after
getting to know him better, the pair
clicked and began dating. They dated
until graduation but, like Bonnie said,
they needed some time before getting
married.
"He was going to work in Boston
and I was going to medical school at
Yale," Victoria explained. "It seemed
like a long-distance relationship wasn't
something either of us wanted, [since
we were] both entering whole new
phases; he wanted to be in Boston
and be out with the boys without
worrying about having anyone else
in the picture."
But, as with Bonnie and Jimmy,
the break didn't last too long -- one
month, to be exact. The wedding
was on April 15, 2007 and Victoria's
maid-of-honor was a fellow UGA from
the Choates who had helped change
Victoria's initially negative opinion
about Austin.
It seems Victoria and Austin
weren't the fi rst Dartmouth couple for
whom hate became love: When Linda
Quan, who graduated Dartmouth
Medical School in 1969, fi rst met
future hubby, Jonathan Knight '67,
during his senior year as a Dartmouth
undergrad -- he also graduated from
DMS in '69 -- she "thought he was
kind of a jerk."
Linda said, "It was not an auspicious
beginning. He was really cute but...
he had a big poster of the Rolling
Stones in his room...and he pointed
to it and asked me if I knew who they
were." Linda was offended by the test
of her character, but decided to give
Jonathan a second chance the following
fall, inviting him over to her house
for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
They've been married for almost forty
years and are the parents of three
Dartmouth grads.
Though producing a family of Big
Green blood may have been Linda and
Jonathan's expression of Dartmouth
spirit, Ann Sharfstein '99 and Daniel
Mielcarz '99 showed that they had
"the hill winds in their veins" by holding
their August 11, 2002 wedding at
Dartmouth, with the ceremony in
Rollins Chapel and the reception at
The Hanover Inn.
The couple met their
freshman year in
Hitchcock,
people in your dorm...We always
sort of liked each other but the moment
wasn't right. But then, the fall
of sophomore year, we fi nally talked
about it and decided we both liked
each other." Apparently they liked
Dartmouth as well. Their wedding
was during the sophomore summer
of Ann's sister, an '04, and fell on
Tubestock week. Ann said of the
timing, "It was fun. A little bit weird...
There were a ton of students on the
green [outside the chapel] and a
bounce house and a band. A lot of
our friends went out to the frats after
the reception."
Evidently, traditions at Dartmouth,
even frat-hopping, never
truly leave the Dartmouth grad.
That goes doubly for couples. At
Antje and Sebastian's wedding,
they sang the Alma Mater with fi fty
alumni guests and, Sebastian said, "I
have never been to a wedding where
[at least] one of the betrothed was a
Dartmouth alum, where we did not
sing the alma mater. Truly."
So, all of you with your bitter
hangovers from Valentine's Day,
recognize that love at Dartmouth
exists. Though romance may seem
to be found somewhere below fl air
and slightly above Collis pasta on
the average Dartmouth student's
list of priorities, know that it is possible.
The future Dartmouth brides
didn't believe it either -- Antje said
"no one ever thought we'd end up
married," including herself -- but
it happens, and sometimes the nuances
of Dartmouth actually add to
blossoming romances. Don't give up
hope just yet.
However, for now, indulge in a
little schadenfreude and take pleasure
in the fact that your singleness
is saving you money; happiness
comes at a price. As Sebastian said,
the betrothed sons and daughters
of old Dartmouth never truly forget
the College; unfortunately, the
College never forgets them either.
This year, the Dartmouth College
Fund sent cards soliciting extra
money from Dartmouth couples
that read: "Happy Valentine's Day...
P.S. Please keep the Green Cupid
happy...by making your annual
DCF gift today."
Suckers.
Something Old,
where they
were both
living, but
didn't begin
dating
until
they were
s o p h o -
mor e s .
A n n
s a i d ,
"We had
basically the
same group
of friends...
Freshman year
you hang out
a lot with the
Something New,
Something Borrowed,
Something... Green?
Emily Hirshey looks at Dartmouth
alums who tie the knot.
Not everyone needs time apart,
however -- even those who, like Kate
and Jonah, began their relationship
off-campus. For Rachel Milstein '01
and Joseph Sondheimer '01, their
future together was solidifi ed at fi rst
sight when they met at a New Year's
party their sophomore year at a Dartmouth
friend's house in New York.
"It's hard to imagine that you'd end
up married when you're in college
but at the same time...it was hard to
imagine not being with him," Rachel
explained. The pair dated consistently
until their wedding on March 7, 2004,
which featured four bridesmaids and
three groomsmen from Dartmouth.
Compared to Deborah Bernstein
'93 and David Miller '92's November
3, 2002 wedding of "thirty-plus" Dartmouth
guests, Rachel and Joseph's
Dartmouth attendance seems paltry.
However, Deborah and David's fi rst
encounter wasn't quite as picturesque
as Rachel and Joseph's. While I bet you
never truly believed that you could
meet your future valentine in a urinestained
basement, Phi Delt's "Reds"
was where Deborah and David's saga
began during her sophomore fall.
They dated all through her three
remaining years at Dartmouth; apparently
even drinks scooped out of
a trashcan couldn't put a damper on
their romance. But graduation could
-- the couple broke up for fi ve years
before bumping into each other in
the Hamptons on the Fourth of July
weekend in 1998, where instead of
"Reds" bringing them together, red,
white, and blue did the trick.
Like Deborah and David, Katie
Baines Drossos '04 and Matt Drossos
'02 -- married April 15, 2007 -- were
able to fi nd love in the unlikeliest of
places: a frat. Katie, a coxswain for
the women's crew, fi rst spotted Matt,
a lightweight rower, in the basement
of Psi U during her freshman orientation
and asked a mutual crew friend to
boarding club with people who, as
Antje said, "[Sebastian] thought were
overpowering and annoying."
The couple remained apart
through graduation but never lost
touch, e-mailing throughout their
fi rst year out of college. Then, when
Antje was interviewing for medical
school at UCSF, she "ended up in his
dorm bed" at Stanford, where he was
attending graduate school. This time
it wasn't so casual: Sebastian began
sending her packages wooing her to
San Francisco, because, as he said,
"She was the one. There were others
in between, but she was defi nitely the
one. After freshman year, I knew."
They were married May 20, 2007.
Antje and Sebastian's tumultuous
relationship seems to exhibit a trend
among Dartmouth couples. One
member of such a couple is Antje's
friend, Kate Stone '00, who, despite
a rocky road to the altar, eventually
married her boyfriend Jonah Sonnenborn
'99. Antje was a bridesmaid
at the May 14, 2005 wedding.
Kate and Jonah met in Nice, when
Kate was doing an LSA in Lyon her
sophomore winter while Jonah was
spending a semester at Oxford. But
the two didn't start dating until they
had returned to campus, right before
Kate's sophomore summer, and
continued dating until the year after
she graduated. When she moved to
London after leaving Dartmouth, the
two broke it off for a period. They
reunited in 2003 and then dated for a
year ("though it all blurs a bit," Kate
said) before getting married. Kate
thought the break was necessary: "I
think that most people that I know
from Dartmouth who ended up
marrying someone that they knew
from college had a period where they
weren't together, because you're kind
of growing up together, so each person
in the relationship needs some time
on their own."
