Is that copy of "People" perched on your elliptical really helping your workout, or are you hungry for gossip in addition to a Collis salad? Jean Ellen Cowgill pseudo-psychoanalyses the cult of celebrity and whether its worshippers have a presence at Dartmouth.
Celebrity is a person "known for his well-knowness," according to David Boorstin, the 1960s theorist extraordinaire. Circular logic, but I think the man got it right. Why do we know Paris Hilton? Because everyone else does.
Dartmouth is supposed to be a place for those un-swayed by the hype and celebrity of other New England institutions. I remember my college tour at Harvard. Everything was the largest, the oldest, the most acclaimed, the most rigorous. It felt less like a college visit and more like an episode of "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" or in this case, the Elitist and Over Educated. Maybe I just had some bad preconceptions, but the underlying message seemed to be less "Come to Harvard!" and more "Yeah, just try to get in here."
It was not my tour guide's fault. Harvard is just the diva of the Ivy League. She's had her fair share of successes and scandals but at the end of the day, the paparazzi are still going to follow her.
Dartmouth felt different, like the art film darling with the girl-next-door looks. The critics generally like her work, as do those who attend it, but she sticks to the scripts that intrigue her, not blockbusters. She's more relaxed and less polished around the edges perhaps, but also more genuine than the icons.
Walking around Dartmouth on the tour, I heard my tour guide used words like "familial" and "everyone does their own thing." Sign me up, I thought.
In some ways, Dartmouth has lived up to this "anti-hero" status. We know that sharing SAT scores or GPAs is a total faux pas [ed. note: When a Dartmouth admissions representative came to speak at my high school, she told us that every time we said our SAT scores, a kitten died].
We don't build up our athletes to iconic status only to let a stripper tear them down. Some students may buy into facetime and Greek-hierarchy games, but if they go too far they generally risk being disavowed as lame or just plain silly.
When I started asking around about why people love (and love to hate) celebrities, the general cool-as-a-cucumber response was, "I dunno, I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing."
You say you don't really pay attention to celebrity at all? Really? What about President Clinton's appearance in FoCo last week? Complete zoo. Don't try to argue that you went to see the spectacle on account of political conviction. Looking at Hanover's exit polls, I know you didn't all vote for Hillary. And to those of you who weren't there, you aren't necessarily off the hook -- did you go see Larry David speak? Did you really think he would sway your opinion? Or are you just a huge Seinfeld fan?
Now, maybe the presidential race isn't a fair target. Meeting a former president is a big deal. And the primary is the only time the rest of the country sees New Hampshire as the star. And yes, I'm sure Larry was funny. As for Bill -- well, I confess, I stood there gawking awkwardly with the rest of you.
We may not be entirely obsessed with the celebrity antics, but we can't claim we are entirely disinterested in them either.
During the first week of this term, Jamie Lynn had replaced the standard "How was your break" banter. Don't deny it, I heard you bashing her in the Collis bathroom, the Novack line and the gym. I've already seen Superficial.com on computer screens in class, and I know that had nothing to do with the lecture. And some of you did some serious "Hills" catching up over interim. Seriously, what ever actually happens in that show -- one of the many based on the celebrity status of its "real" characters? "Omigod, you guys, I went out and got drunk and met a cute guy last night." It's like overhearing a particularly painful 'shmob conversation at Homeplate Sunday Brunch. Just add snow.
"I think girls on this campus follow celebrities to escape," said Lucy Hoffman '08. "To escape pong, frat basements... it's a way to exit to another world."
So go ahead and keep that econ exam or bad hook up in perspective by recalling Jamie's bun in the oven.
In the end, we take our celebrity gossip in stride. And maybe that's because our campus celebs, like everything else at Dartmouth, are decentralized.
"I think we have a lot of strong personalities at Dartmouth, but one person's campus idol may differ from someone else's," said Bud Simis '08. "For instance, I think Elsa Sargent is a demi-God. Others may think Eric Cates is super sweet."
We Dartmouth folk can watch the celebrity antics of the outside world with certain bemusement and nonchalance, because here in Hanover, instead of appointed campus celebs to whom we all bow, we have the family's hardcore, quirky, totally sweet, nerdy, crunchy, ragey, ridiculous personalities that just make us laugh. Everyone does their own thing.
Jean Ellen is a staff writer for the Mirror. Her favorite tabloid is The New Yorker.
