Ah munchies, that urgent hunger that must be fulfilled, that need for anything edible, as long as it's not a salad and preferably is covered in cheese. They don't have to be inspired by a certain smokeable plant, they can also be inspired by good old fashioned drunkenness. Either way, they're a college reality and they need to be dealt with. So how should you go about it? Let's look at a few scenarios.
It's midnight on a Monday and you've been doing some things. I'll keep it vague because heck, you could have been running or fasting or something else that makes you hungry and isn't illegal. What do you do? FoCo. Why? You're still within the bounds of operation hours so why not forgo spending real money and just use that fake money on your card? Besides, it's not like your taste buds are particularly discerning at that point in the night. My top choice? A grilled cheese with lots of ketchup because it's really hard to screw up a grilled cheese and essentially it's all I ever want in that state. I mean, it's all I would ever want in that state were I to ever be in that state, hypothetically. It's cheese, it's bread, it's greasy and except for the processed so-called cheese that they use, I can account for all the ingredients, which is more than I can say for the chicken or hamburger patties the grill uses.
If you insist on getting some sort of meat product go for the nuggets. I can attest from a recent nugget experience that they are good. Well, okay, good as long as you don't look at them (especially the insides). Add a side of a-bit-too-doughy onion rings to the mix and you have yourself a nice feast. Make sure to grab all the condiments in the world on the way out. There is nothing better than sauce in those situations; it allows you to let the creative juices flow.
Next scenario: It's midnight again but this time it's a Thursday. You've been out doing Thursday night things, playing some Guitar Hero, watching the nature channel, etc. You're hungry, maybe thirsty and you've got all that laundry money that you're not going to use.
Lone Pine. Again you're using fake DBA money but this time, with a little DA$H and a valid ID, you can drink on campus. I'd go for a Magic Hat Number 9, which they have on tap. Or, if you like the sweeter side of alcohol, go for a cider. The last few times I've been there they've been trying to unload those like crazy.
If you're underage, sucks for you, but you can still get a tasty milkshake or one of those Jalisco drinks people seem to get so much. Then go for the free popcorn mostly because it's free and again, what do your taste buds care? As for the main course I would opt for the nachos with everything (because otherwise they're just chips and cheese and the chips don't get awesome and soggy and oh there are so many reasons why you should just go for the grande). Definitely get the guacamole, not because it's that good but because for some reason New Hampshire restaurants refuse to serve you guacamole for less than five bucks a pop for a tiny serving.
If you're not feeling very south of the border, then definitely get the turkey panini. It's good stuff. Yes, it makes me feel slightly ill every time I eat it but I keep coming back so that's got to say something. Do not get the wannabe KFC bowl. Why? Because really, I get that you're high but is it really worth shortening your life by three years just to satisfy some hallucinated craving? Answer: maybe. But my advice is still to stick to the basics.
Next and most common scenario? It's 1:58 on a Friday, and you're at a frat. You're not going to hookup. You have a decision to make: Do you carry on in the frat, play more pong and pass out bloated and full of beer on whatever couch you find? Or do you leave, order EBAs and pass out bloated and full of beer and grease in your own bed with the television blasting? Nine out of ten times most people will opt for B.
Mobs will flood from frat row at 2 a.m., desperately calling EBAs and ordering from memory because while you can't remember the name of that chick you just made out with, you damn sure can remember the online EBAs menu in detail as well as the number (but that's because of the catchy jingle on TV).
I'm a breadsticks kind of girl, plain breadsticks specifically. I do not like that cheese that they lay on top. It doesn't even try to stick to the bread! Also, it is imperative to get extra marinara. But if you aren't in for the breadsticks then go for the Southwestern chicken quesadilla or the Tuscan bread.
The quesadilla is more like some magical tortilla pizza than just some cheese and chicken. It is the most satisfying thing ever, if you are influenced by something that is. Sober I'm pretty sure it would be overwhelming. The Tuscan bread is simple and something I would make for myself if I was hungry at home and feeling sophisticated.
Trust me on these things, I know late-night eating. And if all else fails just raid the dorm trashcans. Is she kidding? You'll never know until you try.
