'08 SD: "Yeah I'm from the south side of Chicago, but from the city."
'08 KDE: "Oh, so you think you're a thug?"
'08 SD: "A little bit. In middle school, I wore K-Swiss and gelled my hair."
"And then he passed the Dick Act, which I have to confess I have trouble saying with a straight face."
- History professor during a lecture
'09 SAE pledge: "Evolution? The world was created 30,000 years ago and the dinosaurs no longer exist because they couldn't fit on the ark."
Two Chi Gams in the library:
Chi Gam 1: "Yo, guess how much sperm you produce in one day?"
Chi Gam 2: "Uhh, I don't know"
Chi Gam 1: "2 x 108."
Chi Gam 2: "Haha ... yeaahhhhh."
'06 girl: "A socialist just got into the senate?"
'09 girl: "Yeah, Bernie ... from Vermont?"
'06 girl: "Bernie Mac?"
Student 1: "So how do you say 'bagel' in Spanish?"
Student 2: "You are an idiot. 'Bagel' is an English word -- you can't translate English words into Spanish."
Student 1: "Oh yeah, I forgot."
'09 Panarchist: "This isn't my preppy shirt. This is my hipster shirt."
