We all know the reputation of the average college athlete: these men enjoy the weight room and banging hot chicks. But, what about ex-athletes? They, too, enjoy the weight room and banging hot chicks, though with a slightly slower heart-rate recovery time.
Enter Andrew P. Ciccone and Steven C. Van Note, members of the Class of 2007 and Theta Delta Chi fraternity. These two have earned the status of "ex-athlete" for quitting lacrosse and football, respectively. Having swapped "dry season" for "high season," they are also well familiar with upperclassmen life at Dartmouth.
In order to best understand these men -- and ex-athletes everywhere -- just think of the incredible dedication and time-commitment (not to mention heart!) that Dartmouth's athletes pour into sports. Next, swap this dedication and time commitment (not to mention heart!) with a dedication towards other activities, such as naps. ESPN boxing. Bags of chips.
Steven and Andrew appreciate all these things, and more. Please join me as they explain some of the challenges facing Dartmouth students today.
What sort of activities do you partake in around Dartmouth?
Steve: Well, I play club tennis. I also enjoy social scenes.
What do you not like about Dartmouth?
Andy: Blitz ruins lives.
Steve: I hate our mascot. The "Big Green." What the hell? What happened to our mascot?
Andy: The nation's capitol has a football team called the Redskins.
Steve: That's what I hate about Dartmouth. What's the "Big Green"? What does that mean? Green cannot be big. It is a color ...
Andy: My high school was the "Big Red." Now I'm at the f*cking "Big Green"... I thought about that when I got in. I was somewhat ambivalent, I was like, "damn."
What's the worst mistake you've made since coming to Dartmouth?
Steve: [20 minutes after this question was originally asked.] Maggie, I would now like to change my answer to the previous question of "what was your worst mistake?" I said it was failing Bio 6. It wasn't failing Bio 6, OK? I consider failing Bio 6 like heaven compared to this choice ... moving into [sophomore year housing] was the worst ... there were six dudes [moving in together], all great dudes, too ... So my room, if you went downstairs in this house, you would see a basement. It certainly wasn't a room. It was a basement, and somebody had laid a couple of rugs down to attempt to bring it together --
Andy: Cinderblock walls ...
Steve: The furnace, the heater -- everything a foot away from my bed. Cobwebs, spider webs. People call it dust. It wasn't even dust, it was layers and layers of shit. I still have nightmares about it. Honestly. And things just accumulated. There was trash in our garage. I think we had 48 bags at one point.
Andy: Yeah. Usually, someone takes your trash. Places do that. Not in Hanover ... Seriously, we just threw them out in the garage eventually. That garage reeked. There were 50 bags of trash in there.
Steve: Then one of our friends drove a golf ball threw the front door. It was a glass door.
Andy: This was a typical thing. There were two holes punched in walls at one of our parties. Like, the glass broke and was never cleaned up. It was just pushed aside and crunched into sediment ... it's kind of weird that this is all being taped. Like, some of this probably shouldn't be recorded, you know?
It's actually not an interview. It's a sting.
Andy: I mean, if this is a sting, I'll give it to you. That's pretty elaborate. I'll be like, 'fine. Whatever.'
