"What do you want to do when you grow up?" is a question to which I am not sure I know the answer, despite dangling my feet over the precipice of graduation. While I am still not sure whether I want to be a ballerina or an astronaut (and as a result, I will end up in law school), I do know that my future will not find me being called the dreaded "M" word -- not in the very near future, at least.
Of course, I'm talking about "Mommy."
As a woman at one of the most prestigious institutions in the country, I want to use my Dartmouth education to change the world, or at the very least, make a small dent in my community. I have been told since I was very young that I had an obligation to use my mind and talents to "do something great," and whether that is saving the whales or just remembering to recycle, I intend to do it and do it well.
On the other hand, as the daughter of a woman who gave up a coveted spot at NYU's business school in order to have a family, I feel a certain obligation (and possibly even a desire) to have children of my own. Is it wrong to put your career aside for your children? Certainly not. My mother says that my sister and I were the best decisions she ever made, (after marrying my father, of course). But is it wrong to feel the slightest twinge of guilt when you do not want to use your Dartmouth degree for anything more than changing diapers and packing lunches?The truth is women are surpassing men in all aspects of college life. Statistics from the Department of Education indicate that men are much less likely to get bachelors degrees than women, and when they do make it to college, men receive worse grades than women. More women graduate with honors than men do -- at some colleges, almost three quarters of the honors go to women. It would appear that women are ready to take on the challenges of the workplace, and that they would certainly make use of their hard-earned degrees.
With these kinds of numbers in their favor, it would seem almost obvious that women would dominate the workforce. Such is not the case. There are only eleven female CEOs of the Fortune 500 companies -- that's fewer than 2 percent of all the companies. In addition, the gender gap in terms of income has been widening. According to census data conducted by the Institute for Women's Policy Research, women make only 75.5 cents for each dollar that men earn.
In a recent Washington Post article, Linda Hirshman claims that for 25 years, "the airwaves and bookstores of America have been overwhelmed by voices exhorting women to stay home." This backlash against feminism and women in the workplace has contributed to a huge conflict within the female population. Work harder and be more successful, or give it up to perform your biological and familial duties? Hirshman argues that "tasks of housekeeping and child rearing [are] not worthy of the full time and talents of intelligent and educated human beings."
Not surprisingly, the response Hirshman received was strong and vicious. She believed that she had stepped right into the "Mommy Wars," where women who were told that they weren't living up to their full potential responded angrily. Hirshman was called "a single, childless, bitter loser"; feminists attacked her by saying that "women weren't quitting," and most other people "didn't care what [she] said -- criticizing women just wasn't allowed."
Why is it such a taboo to encourage women to stay in the workplace? It is perfectly acceptable to defend a woman's right to leave her job for motherly reasons. Why not the other way around? And where, for that matter, are all the stay-at-home dads?
Equality at work will only come when there is equality at home. When it becomes just as acceptable for a man to stay at home and take care of his children as it would be for his wife, then perhaps women will receive the pay they deserve at work. The tasks of both work and family need to be shared by men and women alike; sadly, until this happens, women will continue to lag behind in the perceptions of her capabilities, and unfortunately, their realities will match the world's misconceptions.
