It's time to face reality. Consciously or subconsciously, many Dartmouth students suffer from a Harvard inferiority complex. The reason is simple: Many of us are here because we got rejected from there. The rejection is only made all the more bitter when you learn that a friend (who certainly is not smarter) got in for some inexplicable reason. Fortunately, most of us will get over our miserable luck at the Cambridge lottery and grow to love and treasure our place at Dartmouth.
Nonetheless, some of this Harvard envy remains and finds expression in a lot of the things we do. The biggest event on our football calendar is the Harvard-Dartmouth game. The irony is that while the college charters buses to bring students down to Boston, Harvard students don't really care that the Big Green is in town. In many other ways, Harvard is the yardstick against which we measure ourselves -- whether it is our library, our faculty or even our dining halls (yeah, one for the Big Green).
Some students would argue that this benchmarking should extend to branding as well. The Harvard brand, they gush, is recognized all over the world and opens doors to the lucky few that can put it on their calling card. Dartmouth should aspire to similar greatness, the logic goes, so that we, too, can have Dartmouth's reputation precede us like rose petals falling before our feet.
The way I see it, there are three ways that we can achieve this lofty goal. I call them the three "S"s. The first S stands for sports. In no other country are collegiate sports as big a business as in America. If we could just do well in sports, the name of Dartmouth will be glorified in every newspaper in this country. Unfortunately, in the sports that seem to matter -- football, baseball and basketball -- our teams can't even top the Ivy League. As for the sports that we are competitive in, such as hockey or lacrosse, they lack the national appeal to translate into much publicity.
Let us turn to the second S: science. What better way to display our credentials than highlight the cutting edge research that happens here in Hanover? Unfortunately, there is not enough of that happening to upstage Harvard. Our faculty does produce some impressive research, but the small faculty size and smaller research budgets inevitably lead to a small research output. Dartmouth faculty members also have to deal with the bothersome distraction of teaching. Of course, we could transform ourselves into a research institution, commit the entire endowment to research and stop taking in students. What a wonderful day that would be when the halls of Dartmouth are teeming with Nobel laureates, and the voice in wilderness is one of intellectual authority. Unfortunately, this approach leaves no students to partake in Dartmouth's glory.
The last S, of course, would be scandal. A scandal will bring infamy to Dartmouth and that much coveted coverage in all media outlets. The last time Dartmouth made the front pages was with the unfortunate Zantop murders. Perhaps this time we can try a salacious love affair involving three faculty members, one male student and a naughty sculpture in Berry Library. Or maybe, we could invite Janet Jackson to show us the moon piece in her presumably matching set of sexy jewelry. Then again, all this will bring fame to Dartmouth for the wrong reasons, thus ruling the last option out as well.
It would seem that any attempt to promote Dartmouth would be unrealistic and ultimately futile. Let's face it, Dartmouth is not Harvard and should not aspire to be. Our resources are limited and should not be committed to trying to close the gap between the Crimson and ourselves. Trying to chase down Harvard will wear out our running shoes faster than the Chinese can churn them out. The pursuit of excellence is commendable but stupid -- not to mention smelly -- if Harvard's big butt is always in the way. Let us find our own target, run our own race and get some fresh air for a change.
There is one last S we can consider: students. The main business of universities is still education. Perhaps the most convincing proof of a university's greatness is in the individuals who have passed through its gates. Students make Dartmouth great. Dartmouth's fame does not make our students successful, but the success of our students makes Dartmouth famous. Perhaps it is time for us to get off our Harvard envy and focus our efforts on the one thing that truly matters: our personal development. All Dartmouth men and women should be able to stand proud and not have to rely on a lone pine to hide their shame. Only people without substance need a school crest to make them look better. Just as no amount of perfumed rose petals can hide the worse body odor, no amount of name dropping will make an individual a better person. Dartmouth students are judged not based on the insignia on their diplomas, but on their character, intellect and ability.
