It's become a tradition in recent years for television reporters to pour over last year's airwaves and declare the finest programming, so viewers know what they missed. This year, it has been a challenge to find a critic that doesn't make "The Sopranos" the number one choice.
So, for the few of you who receive HBO, watch "The Sopranos." For the rest, I'll try to cover new ground with a few special achievement awards for 1999's TV standouts.
The Calvin Klein Award
This prize is given to the most notable trendsetter of the year: "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." Regis Philbin's high-drama program caused the networks to rush a number of big-money game shows into production to counter ABC's unexpected success.
The prime-time game show, long-presumed dead, will return in full force this year beginning with "Winning Lines," "Twenty-One," and a TV version of the CD-ROM game "You Don't Know Jack."
How will this trend play out? The last time the networks got excited about quiz shows (over forty years ago), it resulted in a scandal that angered America and embarrassed the television industry.
Today there are agencies in place to prevent a similar debacle, but it still isn't a good sign that NBC is bringing back "Twenty-One," the rigged quizzer that condemned game shows for years. So enjoy the games while they last, for it's been a while since television was so obsessed with such a clean, family-friendly genre.
The Betamax Award
This prize for a good technology gone bad goes to HDTV, the new digital broadcast medium that has gained minimal ground in the American market this year.
HDTV is plagued by high costs. A low-end HDTV set goes for over $5,000, and the equipment purchases required for broadcast affiliates to upgrade is at least a six-digit investment--hard to justify for a single-digit percentage of viewers.
Another problem is the sniping between TV industry bigwigs over HDTV standards. The debate has raged with such exciting arguments as this one from Mark Aitken of the Advanced Technology Group: "with other operating modes of COFDM [broadcasters] can distribute bits at HIGHER rates than ATSC 19.4 Mb/s if they so desire!"
Confused? So am I, and consumer confusion doesn't bode well for a new technology. It will be a long wait before techno-heads see the digital revolution they expected to have by the year 2000.
The Bob Saget Award
For the television phenomenon most likely to make viewers roll their eyes. This year's winner is--well, this year, 2000 A.D. The irresistibly round number compelled ABC and NBC to treat viewers to a barrage of millennial tedium structured around genuinely interesting (but sparse) coverage of major New Year's celebrations.
The broadcasts suffered from a lack of Y2K catastrophes. As midnight crept across the globe, it became increasingly obvious that there would be no anarchy, rioting, or nuclear explosions. Good for humanity, but not very interesting television.
The highlight of the night came after 1 a.m. when a caffeine-addled Katie Couric declared to a stunned Washington correspondent, "You know what? This is really boring!"
I agree, Katie. It's unsettling that the only remarkable parts of 1999's final evening came when the flashy TV personalities went silent and allowed audiences to enjoy the stunning spectacles that London, Paris, and other great cities had constructed.
It's time for TV news to get back in touch with viewers after a year dominated by a mundane sex scandal and an anticlimactic millennium frenzy.
The Icarus Award
"The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn" receives this dubious honor for the program that exemplifies hubris. Kilborn's egotistical shtick backfired on him this year when viewers largely ignored him and instead turned the dial to Conan O'Brien. The self-deprecating, absurdist style of O'Brien (an antithesis to Kilborn) continued to reign the 12:30 a.m. slot.
While it's understandable that "The Daily Show" alum Kilborn would take his trademark "Five Questions" from Comedy Central to CBS, it's odd that he also dedicates almost ten minutes of "The Late Late Show" to his slant on the day's news headlines--is he out of ideas already?
Meanwhile, O'Brien spent the year refining his playbook, including such segments as "In The Year 2000" and the hilarious "Actual Items." A rocky year may be ahead for the red-headed wonder, however, after he loses sidekick Andy Richter in the spring.
So that was 1999--a succotash of TV. I suspect the same will be true of 2000, so I'll do my best to help separate the corn from the lima beans. Until then, surf responsibly.
