This past weekend I went home for a job interview in New Jersey. However, I forgot that my mother Diane and her friend, also Diane, were throwing a surprise wedding shower for one of their close friends, Marcye, for a second marriage. Saturday morning arrived and I awoke rather early so that I could help my mom with some small errands before the shower which was at noon. It was an absolutely beautiful day and in a way I rejoiced at my weekend getaway. I knew that I would know most of the people at the shower, and I had high hopes for a lovely day.
I think I was also helped into a good mood by the sight of all of the delicious food laid out on our generally unused and notoriously empty kitchen. I recall a time when freshman year I told my parents during winter break that I needed to return to school so that I could get a decent meal. The dining room table looked fabulous. There were cheese and crackers, veggies and dip, little slices of French bread and unlimited amounts of strawberries and grapes: I felt as if I were in a Parisian market. When I looked out of our kitchen window I could almost see the Eiffel Tower.
After the initial surprise of the shower I spent most of the afternoon talking with many of my mom's friends and Marcye's relatives who had flown in from the north shore of Chicago to surprise their sister. I was surprisingly entertained by these women who kept asking me about my future plans, my feelings about my upcoming graduation and my studies here at Dartmouth. Of course most people are always intrigued when I tell them about my major-minor combo: Religion and Drama.
One woman even had the nerve to ask me if I was in love. She thought maybe I was leaving someone behind at Dartmouth. I had just about stopped myself from choking on a strawberry when my mom announced that Marcye was going to open her gifts. One by one she unwrapped the pile of presents, each one looking more extravagant and delicious then the next. First there was a set of his-and-her matching bathrobes, then some lingerie; there was a set of matching cream-colored hand towels with an embroidered monogram in hunter green and even a beautiful off-white silk shawl for the bride on her wedding day (Marcye plans to wed on top of a mountain in Utah). I guess second marriages are more adventurous! But as she opened each gift, I kept thinking how the unwrapped presents were more exciting to me in their colorful papers and perfectly-assembled bows all untouched by Marcye's delicate hands. Her friends and sisters, all of them had managed to find her beautiful, unidentical gifts, and yet they were all boring to me. Each and every one. The shawl, the candlestick holder, the plate and even the towel set. But that's when it hit me: I am not ready to get married. Not now and probably not for quite some time. The wedding shower was definitely an eye-opening experience for me. But what interested me so much about the ceremony of exchanging gifts was not that I was made aware of my own immaturity towards long term commitment, for that I knew way before this weekend, but rather that I was wholeheartedly disinterested in the entire concept of playing house.
Maybe it is because I am young and I value my freedom tremendously, but I don't think there will ever come a day when I will be excited to pick out china dishes and place settings for my house. I would rather spend my time climbing trees with my children and shopping for goldfish. I guess I have never understood a life-style of tablecloths and wine glasses, serving platters and napkin rings. Unfortunately my two grandmothers would be devastated to know that these aspects of my life are unimportant to me.
But really, how excited can one become over bowls and serving spoons, regardless of how post-modern they might be? Essentially the wedding shower made me confront my dislike of domestics. I don't like to cook, I hate to do dishes, and I hate going into stores like Pottery Barn, Crate and Barrel and Pier One. I like to think that when the time comes that I will have to buy plates and sets of cups and saucers and matching silverware (another bore to me) I will just be able to order then through the Internet. I hope by then my grandmothers will be able to take care of that for me too!
