This past weekend, while journeying to Montreal, I was struck by a strange yet logical thought: if there's this country bordering the U.S. with a drinking age of 18 or 19 (depending on the province) compared to the U.S.'s 21, shouldn't there be a sizable temporary flow of 19- and 20-year-old Americans to Canada? Just as Mexican migrant workers cross the U.S. border illegally because of the WAGE differential, might not migrant college students cross over to Canada to exploit the drinking AGE differential?
Yes, I was certainly onto something big here. Surely the publicity-neglected Canadian border was harboring more illicit activities than have met the eye in the past. My proposition was this: the students would go over to Canada, some staying briefly or even for a whole off-term, and glory in the legality of public drinking. Meanwhile, they would scrupulously send "remittances" home to their U.S. colleagues, who would: A) either drink to console themselves for having missed out on "going wet" and crossing the border (Get it? "Going wet" is illegal border-crossing by way of a body of water, and through my brilliant pun it also means drinking, the opposite of "going dry," so ... oh, never mind, I don't expect any of you to understand drinking jokes), or B) Make a tidy profit selling the liquor in the vaunted "bootleg-Canadian-liquor" black market. After students turn 21, this border piracy would stop, due to the absence of a drinking age differential.
So who, in theory, would these ambitious youths be (to be fair, I should include non-college students in this exhaustive study, although I will still focus on college students since I know their ways more closely)? Well, fraternity and sorority members would be less likely than most, due to their comparatively easy access to alcohol. Still, the wine connoisseurs among them may still do it, unsatisfied with the poignant sensation of common house "Beast." It would be mostly non-Greek students, as well as non-college students, I would guess.
Canadian Marc Sikkes '99 tentatively supports my dodgy theory, saying, "On a given weekend during the college year, probably half the people in the bars clubs and strip joints on Rue St. Catharine are young Americans. The high density of beer stores is aimed at them ... McGill University in Montreal also has the highest percentage of American students of any university in Canada, attracted by a good school, low tuition and ... easily accessible alcohol."
On the trip, I found some strong evidence for this migrant theory. First off, the border guard asked if we were carrying any alcohol into Canada, which clearly demonstrated the Canadian government's fear that crude American booze may infiltrate the Canadian market. Secondly, after crossing over into Montreal, the first several miles of land we saw was ... farmland! Bingo, what perfect ground for outdoorsy American youths to try their hand at a little migrant farm labor!!
Having only conceived of this theory a few days ago, admittedly my theory is confounded by several holes. For one, I haven't seen any real empirical evidence of this yet. Also, given the availability of alcohol on campuses like Dartmouth's, would anybody really do this? Well, just consider how many trips the Class Councils have organized to Montreal as compared to U.S. cities. Really makes ya think, doesn't it? And listen to this: while perusing a Canadian newspaper, I found an article in which a border guard explains, "It is so easy to get into Canada. And once you're in, we cannot keep track of people ... The area is just made-to-order for smugglers." There you have it, the reason that evidence is difficult to find on this fascinating topic, as well as the booming opportunity for smuggling activity. Finally, and most convincingly, I ran across a matchbook in one of the Montreal clubs with the brand name "Export A." Could this "export" be bootleg Canadian liquor? My underground contacts over there tell me I may be right.
All circumstantial evidence, you may say. But just wait, I'll publish a paper someday that'll prompt INS to devote more resources to the Quebec portion of the Canadian border than they do for the entire Mexican border. I can see the headlines now, "U.S. Pushes for drinking-age Harmonization to Eliminate Canadian Liquor Black-market ... 'Canada Dry' to Sue for Copyright Infringement."
