During Green Key weekend last term, I and some fellow Asgardians had been drumming up publicity for our Green Key Dance (especially me, for I am the Publicity Exec.) when we encountered an unkind response to one of the event blitzes. "Take me off this goddamn sober-a** blitz list," quoth the disgruntled heathen (just kidding, I don't feel quite THAT strongly about ignorance...)
The Asgard facilitator then remarked that so many students have sadly distorted perceptions of the nature and workings of Asgard and suggested that one of us write a column to address this issue. I naturally jumped at the idea, feeling in some small way responsible for the public perception of Asgard, or at least for bringing about some change in that perception.
True, Asgard is a non-alcoholic group, meaning that we don't serve alcohol at our events and meetings. However, this does NOT mean that Asgardians don't drink; I know many who do (and very much so), and I see no contradiction in this. Secondly, we Asgardians never brag about substance-freedom, or speak badly of those who do drink. Not once have we turned to moralizing about the pernicious evils of the Greek system, or harbored hostile attitudes towards any houses.
In fact, Asgard is the most easygoing organization one could imagine. We have no moral, intellectual, anthropological, socioeconomic, communist or linguistic agenda to advance, and our meetings reflect it. Check out our blitzmail bulletin: look at the minutes of any meeting, and you're sure to find many jokes and zany non-sequiturs, still only a small wave of the countless flow of humor which permeates our meetings. More than anything, we strive to further social interaction between people in an incomparably light-hearted atmosphere.
But in the midst of all this madness at meetings, we still conceive of, organize, and put on several events every term. Through funding applications, shopping trips, equipment rentals, entertainment searches and event publicity, we acquire the vital "human capital" which will enable us to build a bridge to a globalized, postmodern capitalist world economy in the 21st century...(Sorry, I have to use the word "postmodern" at least once a day).
We are also small, independent and decentralized. Funding comes from various sources (special thanks to COSO and the Programming Board, and yes, the Greek system funds events as well), but we determine everything else. No mere puppet of frat-busting administrators, Asgard members run the show, pick the playlist, fill the docket, etc. We put events together from scratch, and the membership is small enough so that new members and attendees can have instant input into the inner workings of Asgard.
A footnote regarding the name "Asgard" is in order. As Jeopardy! hopefuls (or readers of the comic book "Thor") may know, Asgard is the Norse palace of the Gods. Now, I must admit, I was skeptical upon seeing that such a title of pretense had been institutionalized as the name of the organization; was this, perchance, some idea of "god-like superiority" over the unenlightened, alcohol-ridden masses? However, when I asked some old members about it, I quickly realized they weren't equating themselves with Norse deities in any way. This realization came with some regret, however, as I realized that the members would never come to hail me as Lord Odin, Father of the Gods.
And finally, numerous times Asgard has incurred the attention and hostile wrath of The Dartmouth Review. If that alone doesn't give us solid credibility in the eyes of the Dartmouth populace, then what will? Several times, The Review highlighted choice bits from Asgard meeting minutes; the nature of their comments progressed from amusement to refusal to attend Asgard meetings at our invitation to the type of hard-edged, balanced satire for which The Review is nationally renowned.
So remember, as Socrates once said unto Plato, "Asgard meetings are Tuesdays at 10 p.m. in the basement of Butterfield" (hey, I'm still the Publicity Exec. even in my capacity as staff columnist!)
