One of the issues that I have found causes the greatest volume of debate among students at Dartmouth is affinity housing. Dartmouth currently has housing for African Americans, Asian Americans and Native Americans, among other minority groups. There is even an affinity house for those interested in communal living and one for those who can't stand to be around alcohol. All of these groups have been recognized as having special problems that the Dartmouth community was not fit to handle. Those in charge of the College, who seem intent on giving liberalism a worse name, are adept at talking out of both sides of their mouths on this issue. On one hand, they complain that Dartmouth isn't an inclusive community and implicitly blame the majority, especially the big, bad Greek system. On the other hand, they allow any constituency that has political power and claims to have a problem adjusting to separate themselves even further.
Since it seems unlikely that this policy is to change, I've decided to use it to my advantage. You see, I, too, have a permanent characteristic that has made life at the College more difficult. I am a night person. Therefore, I call upon the administration to address the concerns of this much maligned segment of the campus. We are misunderstood by many members of the Dartmouth community, students and faculty alike, and feel alienated by our lack of social standing.
The nocturnally-inclined at Dartmouth are a silent force, one that finds itself discriminated against in many ways. First of all, most classes are held in the morning. What is this, if not a built-in bias against those that hate the sight of the sun in the east? To make matters worse, the courses that are offered in the afternoon are predominantly of the hands-on variety: art, sciences with labs, etc. This places us into a mold that we feel pressure to fill. Socially, the resources the College provides are wholly unacceptable. Movies are over by 11, parties by three, and Collis Student Center is closed insultingly early. All of these situations help to drive people into bed at a "reasonable" hour. I'm here to say that it's O.K. to hate the morning, and I'm not going to face this discrimination any longer.
I call upon the administration to make available to nocturnal students special morning-impaired housing. It has become apparent that the Dartmouth community is unwilling or unable to fulfill our needs, so we must take matters into our own hands. I envision a supportive nocturnal community, including counseling and discussion groups, late night lectures and dances and speeches by advocates of the light-less lifestyle. Of course, anyone would be welcome, as long as they signed our letter of intent. Our lifestyle is just as valid as any other, and we want it to be treated as such.
We, of course, have no doubt that the administration will see things our way. Forget the idea that affinity housing defeats the purpose of the "Dartmouth community." That placing every group that has a disadvantage in separate housing leads to the destruction of the diversity that the College supposedly holds dear. That separation is not possible in the "real world," the place for which Dartmouth is supposedly preparing us. That affinity housing is just another case of people of our parent's generation succumbing to their discrimination guilt by supporting something that, when looked at objectively, goes against everything they profess to hold dear. Every student has a problem of some sort that the community doesn't sympathize with, but only those as obvious as skin color or national origin are deemed important enough to warrant special accommodations.
That is nothing more than latent prejudice, and we are prepared to hold out for concessions. I hope that the administration will hear this call from the wilderness and take our request seriously. The nocturnal students at Dartmouth are ready to cooperate with the College to ensure that those of us with this alternative lifestyle can have a comfortable place to live at the College. After all, isn't college all about comfort and residing exclusively with one's own group?
