DMS -- n. Dartmouth Male Syndrome.
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A disorder affecting the self-esteem of males at Dartmouth. Common symptoms include random depression (e.g., despite the fact that one is doing well in school, has great friends, a bright future, and is in a wonderful relationship he still feels very depressed), moodiness, low self image, and the need to panic. Some sufferers of this strain cope by drinking, although a few also resort to being complete jerks to all of their friends (especially their girlfriends).
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In rarer (but more virulent cases) the dementia is aggravated by "Wedding Ring Syndrome" (WRS). WRS affects men in relationships with attractive women: the man's ego is inflated by his relationship with the attractive woman. WRS alone can be positive, as it is a healthy source of self-esteem for the man. However, the combination of WRS and DMS is deleterious as one's self-esteem can be delusionally raised to the point that he will do something rash and stupid.
Sometimes the WRS forces a man with DMS to attack the self-esteem of his girlfriend in order to maintain his own artificially high esteem. Studies show that it is not the DMS but the fact that he's dating an attractive woman that bolstered his self-esteem in the first place (the WRS). His vulnerability and low self-esteem (caused by the DMS) are manifested by such thoughts as "if she's so great, why is she dating me?", "I can do better than her", and/or "What if she's not THE ONE?". The dementia can be aggravated (as in WRS) by attractive women flirting with him. In the worst cases the DMS can make him question his inflated ego to the point that he will prove he CAN do better, and (panicking) he dumps his girlfriend.
This behavior is often encouraged by the D-Plan which makes him realize that their D-Plans are incompatible and that someday they will be away from each other, so why not end it now? (Graduation, Sophomore Fall/Rush, and Sophomore summer all have similar affects). Still suffering from DMS (but no longer WRS), his self-esteem plummets, the women disappear and he's left with the more common strain (i.e, depression, moodiness, etc.). Again, some sufferers cope by imbibing a lot of alcohol and/or hanging with the "Guys" (who are rarely psyched to have a depressed friend mooning over the woman he dumped constantly drinking too much and talking about her). Side effects of DMS-WRS complex can include: being hung-up on the girlfriend for a long time (heartache), spending more time drinking (possible alcoholism), and/or having the reputation of dumping a really nice and attractive woman for no logical reason (Cretinism).
Now, this rather textbook definition does not tell the whole story and so creates a pretty negative image of a guy who is DMSing or suffering from DMS-WRS complex. You have to realize that these are symptoms of a grave and mysterious disease (possibly a Potassium imbalance), and often the guy can't help himself. Having had a rather virulent case of DMS myself, I advocate that we help the men suffering from DMS to reclaim their "good-guyness." Friends should be there for them and help them recover. Reminding them that they have a wonderful girlfriend, bright future, etc. is one approach. Hitting them upside the head and saying "Hey, SNAP OUT OF IT!" has also proven to be an effective palliative treatment in some of the more obtuse cases.
Fortunately, DMS is not fatal.
Hopefully, through campus wide awareness and extensive research into its causes, we, as a community, can develop some form of reliable treatment, if not a cure for this sad and debilitating disease. Keeping perspective is also important. For if I have scared my fellow guys out there, remember that there is a worse disease out there to have: Dartmouth Female Syndrome (DFS).
