The world of school and college is such a luxury. I wake up in the morning and can choose whether I want to go to class or not. I can choose how hard I want to work and don't have to worry about losing my job as a student. Food, rent, and entertainment are at my fingertips with the flash of a green ID card.
These are the luxuries that come into focus when I read through the corporate recruiting fliers and fill with panic for my future -- the job market.
For those of us who are seniors, this realization is occurring with speed and force: time is running out, the outside world is approaching. We might actually have to get a job where someone is our boss, where that someone might dictate the hours that we keep and the hours we surrender. This is especially scary for someone who has grown accustomed getting seven hours of sleep, taking a leisurely lunch, and relaxing with an afternoon bike ride.
I'm not ranking on the world outside of college; my point is to remind you and myself of the advantages that are currently available to us. I am not writing this to cause pain to those soon to leave this place or to foreshadow an evil fate to those in the height of their college careers. I'm writing to boost morale, remind people to look at what they really want, and distinguish what is helpful from what is hype-full.
The first thing I'd like to examine is the current craze to find an answer quickly. In my personal frenzy to figure out what I want to do when I grow up, I got lost in what is my responsibilty, what are my goals and what is possible.
When I took a step away from it all, I saw that my responsibility is to myself and to my dreams, that my goals are made of these dreams, and to reach them is always possible, but it requires strength, risks and the courage to accept this responsibility.
I lost sight of these things when anxiety took over and people -- grown-ups -- kept asking me what I want to do with my life. I gave them quick answers: "Dartmouth has an amazing recruiting program. Half of the graduating class goes through this ... I'm also considering graduate school, in what area I'm not exactly sure."
I ask my peers the burning question all the time -- I'm listening for ideas -- but it is more threatening when people who have already left the collegiate womb are asking it. I can't help anyone with the task of self-searching -- finding your dreams, aspirations, goals -- I can only share with you the thoughts that led me to discover those of my own ....
I was coming home from class, my head filled with the words of people who have aspired to greatness, in my mind -- you might think they're flunkies: Homer, Ralph Ellison, Fredich Nietzsche, Francis Bacon, Patricia Hill Collins, Adrienne Rich, and whoever else was among my reading for that week.
As I thought about these people and how their work has survived time, culture, and the hype, I admired them and in some ways wanted to be like them when I grow up. Then I looked at them and looked at me and saw a gap. How do I get from here to there?
It seemed to me that the distance between me and my destination was impossible, unfathomable -- maybe I should learn to like the field of finance, at least there is a clearer path to achieving greatness -- as tempting as it is, the captain of business doesn't happen to be my dream.
Next, I looked at things I have done and I tossed aside my insecurities. I say 'toss' lightly; it had taken me several years to do so. I began to believe in my achievements even if they seemed small on the print of my resume.
Most of the things I have done, things that are important to me, aren't 'resume' material.
"I write the most beautiful cards that can brighten someone's day and can even cause a tear of joy."
"I put myself on the line for something I believed in -- a true feat, something the list of resume adjectives could not describe."
What about all the great things we could never fit on our resumes?
My point is, whatever point you are at -- senior, sophomore, college dean -- don't let the hype make you forget yourself and the things that you value in yourself. The world out there is scary and it is hard not to let it run you down, but believe in yourself, your dreams, your goals and your achievements. I believe in you and me and know the future is ours for the taking.
