Have you ever lived in New Hamp? Have you ever lived in a room in New Hamp that faces the heating plant as opposed to the street? Well, if you have, you know what I'm about to complain about.
It goes on all day. There's no break, no respite, no reprieve from its grip. You wake up with it, live with it and sleep with it. You have to see it every time you look out your window and listen to it ... all the time.
My roommate calls it soothing, but we're not talking about Vaseline; this thing is loud and obnoxious. What is it? Well, as I sit at my desk writing this column, it's my companion. It's the steam. Every room in New Hamp that looks out the back of the building is subjected to the monotonous, shrill sound of steam being emitted from the heating plant. My best guess is that the steam gets turned on in the beginning of the Spring term. I didn't notice it last term, but it's definitely here now. It plagued me all last Spring and it's back for a return engagement.
Noise pollution is probably something you don't think about too often here at Dartmouth. Well, the Office of Residential Life must really hate me. First they put me on the fourth floor of the River for three terms. Then, I moved up to the Choates. My final destination: the steam room on the fourth floor of New Hamp. Oh, I forgot to mention the closet-room in my fraternity that I inhabited sophomore summer. I'm hoping for a nice suite in the Lodge for my senior year. Maybe they'll even decide to do road construction right outside my door. Actually, I bet I'll be able to see the steam from the Lodge as well! Aren't I lucky?
Am I bitter? Yes, a little. I know you may not want to hear my complaining, but if you lived here, you'd empathize. I guess I should take solace in the fact that all the rooms here have been renovated. Now there's carpeting, and the lighting has increased from 10 to 20 watts. At least now I get a pale shadow over my page when I need to do some reading.
Poor ORL, I know. They have it so tough. All those applications to process and so many people to screw. I'm sorry ORL. Please don't punish me - although there's not much else you could do, my cluster number is well over 2,500. Yes, it truly is the Office of Ruining Your Life. I never believed that back when I was a freshman. But now that I've matured to my cynical stage, a lot of bubbles have burst. Don't get me wrong, I love Dartmouth, but I also love to complain.
So what are my options? For the time being, I'm stuck with the steam in New Hamp. Next year, I can either get pulled in as a cluster-mate by someone, take my chances on my own, or check in for the year at the Hanover Inn for $37,000. At first I was excited when I saw my wonderful room number. But considering my cluster number of over 2,500 and a room number of under 300, I figure I'll end up with a beautiful tent on the Green.
Dartmouth is a great school - beautiful scenery, close community, strong academics, fun social life and the biggest smoke stack in Northern New England. What more could you ask for? Don't answer that, housing numbers have already been given out.
