As students of history know, there was a period after World War II when the phrase "Ugly American" described what most of the world felt about us. Reduced to its lowest denominator, it meant that the world saw us as a discourteous, bad mannered, insolent, rude and surly bunch of intruders into their cultures.
When the Class of 1953 had its last class dinner together 41 years ago in Thayer Hall, prior to Commencement and marching off to the forgotten war in Korea, the marvelous, popular, avuncular professor of Great Issues A.R. Foley told us that he was convinced that we had all the formal education necessary to be successful, but he was concerned that perhaps we had not been taught proper manners.
For example, he pointed out that we would eventually be embroiled in the batttle of the cocktail party, the outcome of which could determine our success or failure in business. Thus, he continued, the first rule is never to ask a man where he went to college because if he went to Dartmouth he would have told you in the first five minutes and if he went somewhere else, you wouldn't want to embarrass him.
Tongue in cheek? Yes, but there is truth to it. Manners, good manners, are certainly a requisite of an educated man or woman and are critical if our diverse society is to live in productive harmony. Dartmouth, with a deliberate policy of diversity with all its built in irritations, exasperations and resentments, particularly should have a part in developing students that are well mannered and sensitive to others.
Instead, I feel the same intense dismay that Lord Chesterfield felt when he discovered that his son was a doltish lout. Take a look at today's Dartmouth students. I call them Ugly Undergraduates.
When was the last time you saw an undergraduate hold the door for anyone? When was the last time you held the door for an undergraudate and you heard the word "thank you?" How about when you went through the door but held the door open and waited for someon coming to catch up ... did you hear the word "thank you?" Then there is the matter of four way stop signs. Good manners, courtesy and convention dictate that voluntarily one goes through the intersection based on the order in which ge or she arrived at the stop sign. Inevitably there are those who cheat. What do you think the probability is that the cheater is an undergraduate?
Watch when two individuals are on intersecting courses. Have you ever seen an undergraduate slow down to let another pass in front? Check out walking on the sidewalk. You are going one way and two undergraduates walking abreast are coming towards you ... what is the probability that the undergraduates will fall into a single file so you can all stay on the sidewalk? And in Hanover, one is supposed to stop for people in the crosswalk, but some go speeding through. The driver is most likely an undergraduate.
This is the time when our undergraduates are striving to move from children to adults and as such are indulging in what they think are rites of passage such as drinking, smoking, partying, freedom from parental restrictions, fast cars, running the student government, protesting, interviewing for jobs, wrestling with sexuality and learning. But all of those don't add up to adulthood.
What does signify adulthood? Adulthood is when "I" and "me" becomes "you." I believe that concept is really what Dartmouth is trying to teach perhaps without knowing it. And part of the "you" is sensitivity to others as signified by good manners. Let's change the ugly behavior for a more thoughtful, mature and considerate undergraduate. Let's start by saying "thank you."
If this society is to succeed we must believe we are our brother's keeper.
