Get ready to sun your buns, happy campers; we have a busy weekend ahead of us. Find your sunblock, shades, and mugs. The ultimate in class bonding and the quintessence of "fun in the sun," yes, this weekend hosts the infamous and legendary Tubestock, and the weather forecasts are looking good.
If you feel limited by the opportunities at Dartmouth, check out the Big Apple Circus; perhaps they have got the act for you. Ironically, the circus has come to Dartmouth. (I sometimes find myself believing we are a circus, packed with all sorts of oddities, acts, and entertainment.) Nevertheless, do not miss student night tonight, beginning with the barbecue at five on Tuck Drive, followed by mass bussing to the show, all for just $2 with student ID's. Save some energy for tomorrow, though, and break out your floating toys, rubber ducks, and arm floats.
If the cluelessness of freshman year clings to you like the mung to your party-shoes and you wonder what happens during Tubestock, on Saturday just follow the masses into the river. (100,000 lemmings did it, why can't we?) Allegedly we cruise into a rockin' scene, with band, at a cabin previously owned by a dear alum of '80, who sponsors the event, and to whom we owe our thanks for this Tubestock opportunity. Thanks dude, in advance.
In selecting your vehicle of transportation on the liquid highway, keep in mind that rafts full of pockets on top are especially convenient for holding soda cans. I might also recommend the Fun Island, a bouncy party float that spreads seven feet in diameter, seats four, and provides fun for the whole family. As well, signs around campus boast that, courtesy of Luba-Tuba (whatever they are called), you can have an inner tube delivered to your door for just $10.
For those of you over 21, of legal drinking status, I have been told to forewarn you that your keg will not float unless you drink a good portion of it first (the air pocket keeps it up.) Please do comply with these regulatory procedures, because nobody likes to see a keg lost to the treacherous depths of the Connecticut River. However, the campus police do request that you do not consume alcoholic beverages while floating, seeing that this might induce a case of drunken bumper tubes and helpless flailing bodies. So keep a head on your shoulders and an eye on your buddies.
Tool away now. There is little chance for work on a weekend like this. And remember: Don't drink and sink.
