The Man of Your Dreams: Ryan Lochte
By Jenny Che, The Dartmouth Staff
Published on Friday, August 10, 2012
Two words: Ryan Lochte. So much hotness we can’t handle it.
A sex symbol for the sport of swimming, Lochte finally catapulted into the media spotlight in the months leading up to the Olympics, taking advantage of Phelps’ waning career to push himself forward as the next big swimmer. He didn’t win as many medals as he had hoped, and the attention dwindled as the Olympics went on (flashing back to Phelps, who ended his last Games with a flourish), but Lochte certainly has generated more than enough media frenzy.
Lochte’s bod was splashed across the cover of Vogue earlier this summer. During his races, he was one of the most tweeted celebrities. There’s a photo essay of his smirks, pursed lips and victory faces. Even The New York Times couldn’t resist, writing (much more mildly than other outlets) that he had “the personality of a golden Labrador.”
It’s not surprising that Lochte is a tad self-obsessed. The world is following him — is Twitter page shouts, “I’m a Lochtenator! JEAH #Lochtenation.”
Lochte has clearly proven himself to be a phenomenal swimmer.
“He posts insanely fast times that few people will ever beat, he’s won Olympic gold and has world records, which is an amazing and incredibly difficult feat,” Teva Levens ’14, who has been at swim meets with the hunk, said.
But is he also a total doofus?
A quick YouTube search returned a montage of Lochte spewing gems of intelligence in his interviews. I was busy staring at his face so it took me some time to actually hear what he was saying, but then someone asked him what seven times four was and he said 21.
“Ryan Lochte is probably the hottest male Olympian, but he is literally dumb as rocks,” Natalia Vecerek ’14 said.
Some other highlights of the montage:
“What defines me?” Pause. “Ryan Lochte.”
“Are you enjoying the sex symbol status that goes along with high-profile Olympic events?” Laugh. “Yeah.”
Rumor has it that Lochte has been keeping pretty busy in the Olympic Village. He talked openly to ESPN about the sex that goes on between all those crazily fit athletes.
“I’d say it’s 70 percent to 75 percent of Olympians,” he said. “Hey, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.”
Mama Lochte hasn’t been shy either, saying that with all his competitions, Lochte just hasn’t had time for a girlfriend.
“He goes out on one-night stands,” she said to a news reporter.
And of course, no Lochte talk is complete without mention of those famous grills. He sparked some slight controversy when he tried to wear $25,000 patriotic grills on the medal podium, his signature look that unfortunately wasn’t part of the official Team USA uniform.
“His grills are absurd,” Vecerek said. “He’s a privileged white kid from Florida — what makes him think he can pull off grills?”