Fraternity bathrooms are like snowflakes. No two are the same. Though, I’ll be honest, the comparison pretty much stops there. No matter which house you frequent, each bathroom has its own style, character and inherent grossness. Some are dirtier than others, some have better setups, but in the end, what they all have in common is that even brothers are hesitant to use them. Here for your enjoyment, in no particular order, is a sampling of the worst bathrooms you will find on campus.
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When it comes to hanging out on Dartmouth campus, we all have our place of choice. But what makes a certain frat or sorority so special when planning your night out? This Wednesday night, I went out on a “circuit” in the name of investigatory journalism (is that what they’re calling irresponsible drinking these days?) to find out if chugging a beer is really so different from one house to the next.
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Vermont usually summons stereotypical images of cows, maple syrup, glowing green mountains and liberals. Our recent foray into the Upper Valley’s diner fare led us smack into the verdant peaks of New Hampshire’s fair western cousin and did nothing to dispel this perception. We were drawn to the town of Bethel, Vt., which is most notably known for providing our nation’s capital with its signature white granite.
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This has not been the easiest of terms for the house manager of my sorority. I don’t envy she who is tasked with blitzing out to sisters to tell them that no, in fact, when the town’s water supply goes AWOL, they cannot take a shower despite their recent trip to the gym, nor can they do their laundry even though they really want that skirt clean. Nor would I want to be the one to explain why the diet coke machine is not working again, or figure out what to do with the twenty boxes of expired root beer syrup when sisters start demanding Gatorade. And as much as I support the increased recycling efforts in the Greek community, I’m glad I’m not the one sorting through the trash every week.
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A Scottish, short-term volunteer named Kirsten left a note when she left Biloxi.
“Thanks for letting me in so graciously to your wee world even though I was here but for a short time. You guys are The dog’s bollocks and I have come to love so many so dearly.”
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Due to sorority blitz lists and their powers of persuasion, rumor had it that The Herp has been circulating around campus. According to Dick’s House, they haven’t actually seen any more cases than usual, not that that should make us feel any better about the risks involved in sexual behavior. I’m with the survey respondent who wrote, “STD statistics scare the sh*t out of me.”
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I am going to admit right from the outset that this is going to be one half-assed column. Actually, considering the size of the posterior of this Round Mound of Rebound, that would probably imply that there is greater quality here than in reality. So heed this warning, and tread carefully.
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